If you feel like the things you want most keep refusing to manifest, no matter how many affirmations and vision boards you do, then it’s time to look within for the answers.
A large part of whether your desires manifest isn’t about the actions you take to define what you want – it’s about whether you believe you’re safe and worthy to receive them.
Everything you believe as an adult was shaped by your experiences as a child, especially ages 0-7.
During that period of ages 0-7, a child develops their Root Chakra, which includes issues of safety, acceptance and receiving, as well as their relationship with their physical body.
How they develop with regard to those issues depends entirely upon the environment they’re in. Even the healthiest, most functional, loving and connected family will introduce a few blocks into the child’s psyche, because unless the parents are perfectly healed, their issues are going to be passed on to the child.
And this is OK, in the sense that as I fully believe, we choose our parents and therefore we choose the issues we’re going to encounter in our early years so that they become part of the growth journey we experience as adults.
For example, I’m very open about the fact that I grew up in an environment where my physical needs were cared for but what I received from my parents emotionally often felt toxic, withholding, and abusive, especially to me as a highly sensitive child. I didn’t realize until adulthood that I’d spent most of my childhood walking on eggshells around my mother and how that impacted me as I got older.
But I know that my soul self chose to be born into that experience because it would lead to me becoming a very skilled and insightful healer, and to seek out Divine Love, from a need to fill in the voids of love I didn’t receive as a child.
The idea that we choose our experience means that whatever blocks to receiving were created in you as a child were part of a Divine Plan to prepare you to be a masterful manifestor as an adult.
There are some people who manifest easily all throughout their lives because their Divine Plan focused on other issues. Those of us who have to overcome blocks and consciously learn about manifesting have a much richer experience (in many senses of the word) of what it means to work with the Universe to manifest than those who never have to consciously studied it.
And since I am one of those people who have had to consciously figure out how to receive what I desire, I have learned a lot and I’d love for you to benefit from that knowledge.
Here are three root causes I’ve found that create blocks to receiving. The degree to which they are active within you depends on how active they were within your parents and how they showed up in your first-hand experience.
1. You don’t believe you’re allowed to decide what you receive.
This one might be familiar to you if you’ve ever tried to set goals and couldn’t decide what you want. Or if you’ve created a vision board where you chose the items for your board based on what you saw in the magazines (in essence, letting the magazines decide), rather than already having a list of desires that you’re seeking pictures to represent.
Another strong symptom of this block is if you set goals but then you don’t take action to fulfill them. I used to literally forget that I had the goals – I would make lists but then do nothing to ensure my actions supported my goals.
The underlying idea here is one of waiting for someone else – an authority figure like a parent, teacher, or God – to tell you what you’re supposed to want. Or giving you permission that it’s OK to want what you’ve chosen.
As children we easily get conditioned out of our desires by the number of times we’re told “No,” even if it’s for good reasons. Even though desire is a natural instinct, eventually a child’s mind gets reconditioned so that they look to adults to tell them what it’s OK to want – or in the extreme, they want nothing unless an adult directs them, “This is what you want.”
As a spiritual adult, you might have traded one authority for another, assuming that when something doesn’t manifest for you, that’s because the Universe doesn’t want you to have it. The Truth is, what you desire always manifests for you because that’s how Attraction works – but that doesn’t mean it always comes easily.
If you don’t see your result right away, it’s because you have to grow in some way in order to access it.
If you don’t grow, you either won’t rendezvous with it or won’t recognize it when it appears. You might claim, “I guess the Universe didn’t want me to have it,” but that’s not true. The Universe doesn’t withhold from you the way that other humans do. It unbiasedly delivers whatever you’re a vibrational match to – 100% of the time.
2. You don’t expect others to help you manifest your desires.
I think that most of us have a defiant streak, even if it’s subconscious, that says, “Even if no one else says I can have this, I’m going to claim this for myself.” It’s inspired by the energy of Desire that will always naturally try to flow through us despite any blocks that we have.
This is how we get into manifestation activities like vision boards and affirmations, doing what we can to bring Desire into reality.
The catch is, if you subconsciously believe that no one else approves of your desires, then you’re not going to believe that anyone else will help you manifest them. That’s unfortunate, because it’s nearly impossible to manifest alone. One of my past business coaches would frequently say, “Money comes to us through people,” and I believe that’s true of anything we desire to receive. It’s rare in this 3D reality that what you want will simply materialize in front of you; manifestations always involve the actions of some other person, even if it’s a chain reaction of synchronicities that started miles away.
This block might play out in your experience as :
- Not asking for help.
- Asking for help but people refuse.
- Asking for help but the people you ask are incompetent, abandon the project, etc.
That last bullet is fascinating, because you can be trying to receive help but accidentally pick people who will fulfill the subconscious expectation that people won’t help you. If you own a business, you’ll notice that your process of hiring employees, VAs, etc., will be more successful once you clear this block
3. You’re still holding onto resentments for all the times you didn’t receive
In order to be open to receiving, you have to be in a mindset that trusts “I will receive.”
But if you’re focused on times in the past when you didn’t get what you wanted, those memories and feelings get in the way. Because remember, the mind doesn’t know the difference between past, present, and future; if you’re trying to say “I want to receive X” with a focus on the present and future, but your thoughts keep drifting to past memories of not receiving, then what you put out into the Universe is those past memories, not your present desires.
This is extra true because Resentment and Anger are especially strong emotions. Anger comes in intense spurts; Resentment is weaker but more long-lasting. Holding onto these emotions, even subconsciously, drags down your manifestations with their heavy weight.
Manifesting energy has to be light. To manifest with ease, you need to release all the trapped emotions from past times of not receiving, including negative emotional attachments to those people who kept you from receiving.
For example, one of the most important things I’ve had to do as an adult was forgive my parents for not loving me the way I wanted to be loved. It wasn’t enough to forgive them for the hitting and unloving words; I realized that the needs which went unfulfilled while all that was happening were a separate issue, and I had to forgive that as well. Forgiving the bad isn’t the same as forgiving not getting the good. Make sense?
If you recognize any (or all) of these three blocks as something that you’ve experienced and you’re wondering how to get rid of them, I’d love to help you clear these blocks and increase the flow in your receiving pipeline.
I’ve created a program called “Open to Receiving,” which offers you three powerful, get-to-the-root-cause energy healing sessions, each dedicated to one of the blocks we’ve discussed here. It also offers you a process for creating a contract between yourself and the Universe, so that you can integrate your new unblocked mindset into the magic you allow the Universe to bring you and the inspired actions you take yourself. Go here to learn more about Open to Receiving >>