I want to share with you something that’s really personal to me: how I healed myself of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) using energy healing, especially Core Wound healing.
People who know me now – who know how confident and peaceful I am and see the equanimity and evenness of my personality – have a hard time for a moment believing that I ever could have had Borderline Personality Disorder or anything that resembles that diagnosis.
The way that I became the Core Wound healer was pretty much all about not being satisfied with myself and having things I wanted to fix and heal in myself – demanding of Spirit, “Show me how to do this,” and not giving up until I found the solution.
What I see for anyone who has experienced BPD is that we didn’t feel loved or worthy when we were children. We became chameleons who shaped ourselves according to whatever we thought would get our parents/caregivers and then the other people in our lives to love us and believe that we were good enough.
In case you’re curious or don’t know what Borderline Personality Disorder is, here’s what the Mayo Clinic defines as its symptoms (I had every symptom on this list from my teen years to my 30s):
- An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection
- A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn’t care enough or is cruel
- Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don’t exist at all
- Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours
- Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship
- Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection
- Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety
- Ongoing feelings of emptiness
- Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights
Going through this list – especially that last one – I believe that my mother also had undiagnosed BPD. Part of my healing journey as an adult has been about healing the effects of how often she hit me and screamed at me and how I had to walk on eggshells around her as a child.
It would be natural that I would end up with the same emotional patterns that she had, because of how much our parents unknowingly shape us. But I was determined – especially when I saw how these symptoms were getting in the way of my business, also because I’m a Taurus and I’m freaking stubborn – determined to find a way past all this.
That is what put me on the path of becoming a healer.
Many of the healing modalities I learned, while they were certainly about learning how to help and heal other people, I think were primarily about going to the classes so that in the class I could experience my own healing.
I also had fellow healers who helped me along the way when I went to them for sessions and healing circles.
All of those healing experiences got me to the level where I could handle the deep work of healing my Core Wounds, which is what made the biggest difference for my BPD.
Healing my Core Wounds is something that I have done for myself, but I honestly DO NOT recommend doing it that way. This is NOT a good DIY project.
The best way to heal your Core Wounds is to find a healer who has had theirs healed, because healers can only help you heal what is already healed within themselves (or was never a problem to begin with) – otherwise they end up with blind spots where they can’t see things for you because their subconscious mind won’t let them see it for themselves.
You’re ready for Core Wound healing when you’ve started at the surface and progressed deep enough into yourself to integrate this work. What happens when you healing your two Core Wounds (Unworthiness at your Crown and Unlovable at your Root Chakra) and all the deep stuff that’s around them is that you reopen to Source.
It restores your innate embodiment of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine aspects of Source energy, along with your innate knowing that you are worthy and you are lovable simply because you exist.
That feeling of worthiness and lovability stays with you always, once those Core Wounds are healed, and then you don’t need anyone else to prove to you that you’re worthy and lovable.