The steps to having a business are pretty straightforward:
- Develop a business idea based on your aptitudes
- Market your business to as many people as possible that will want your product or service
- Conduct the transaction to exchange their money for your product or service
- Deliver your product or service to the paying customer
At the highest level, that’s all a business is.
If we let business be simple, these steps could be executed rather quickly and easily, and anyone who wanted one could have a thriving business.
There are people who do that. From what I’ve read and seen, the entrepreneurs who have created million- and billion-dollar empires have done so by keeping focus on the aforementioned basics of business.
Why, then, do others struggle to thrive in their businesses? It would seem to be because they make the above steps far more complex than they need to be:
- Do I have the right business idea? (If it’s your idea, it’s the right idea!)
- Who is my ideal client? (Developing a client avatar, while well-intended, can really overcomplicate this!)
- They obsess over individual responses to their marketing (e.g., likes and comments), overlooking what traditional businesses have known for years: Marketing is a numbers game.
- They get into a huge psychological quagmire about the money piece – wrestling over the price (charge what you want – if they really want what you offer, they’ll pay it), afraid to ask for the sale (as if the prospect doesn’t really want what you’re offering?).
What causes this unnecessary complexity?
The root cause is that as humans born into 3D ego-based consciousness, we are conditioned to take everything personally.
We project ourselves into every experience – which can be a source of joy when things go well, but more often becomes a source of stress and pain as we interpret others’ choices as judgments of ourselves rather than reflections of their needs and wants.
Whatever needs, wants, limitations, and wounds we have inside us become part of how we interact with others through our business.
Identifying behavior patterns is my special sauce, so it’s natural for me to distill the business behaviors I’ve observed into common threads. Here are the primary patterns I’ve noticed that cause entrepreneurs to overcomplicate the process of growing their businesses:
Core Wound. Every human has a Core Wound – the first chakra block / limiting belief / negative emotion that they experienced in the womb, as their energy adjusted to 3D consciousness and they perceived themselves separating from God. There are two possible Core Wounds – Unworthiness and Unlovability – which constantly influence their thoughts and feelings, therefore causing most decisions to be made from a place of feeling Unworthy or Unlovable.
In business, this comes up in countless ways, such as questions of whether you or your business idea is worthy, or whether your family will still love you if you succeed in ways that they didn’t, to name just a few of many possibilities. I’ve found it much easier to identify the affects of the patterns that were subsequent to the Core Wound, as follows:
Lack of Trust. Because of the Core Wound, every person experienced the perception that they were being separated from God, because their frequency dropped low enough that they could no longer feel their connection to All That Is, even though it was still there. Feeling the loss of the Divine Love and Power created a loss of Trust, which gets repeatedly projected onto others as, “If God can’t be trusted to have my back, then how could any mere human, including myself, be trusted? And how can my instincts be trusted if the Divine Power behind them is gone?”
Consider how lack of trust impacts you in business: As an entrepreneur you’re faced with hundreds of decisions per day, and some part of you knows that you’re designed to have Divine Guidance working through you to inform those decisions, but that guidance has been missing since your Core Wound. How can you trust any decision that you’re essentially making while blind?
Fear of Rejection. If your Core Wound is Unlovable, then you are more likely to experience fear of rejection. The fact that your mind has subconsciously repeated the message “I am unlovable” all your life means you simultaneously a) seek someone to prove that you are lovable but b) expect that others will reinforce the idea that you are unlovable.
This has biggest impact on marketing, especially when the product that you’re selling is yourself – i.e., services that you personally provide. I’ve watched how the yearning for approval and simultaneous fear that they won’t get it keeps people from executing marketing plans, doing livestreams, writing blogs, etc.
This fear of rejection hit me the hardest in my business. Over the years I sabotaged multiple marketing plans, even unknowingly sabotaged the work of marketing experts I was paying, all because of my fear of being seen and subsequently rejected. Thank God I finally healed my Core Wound and got over that.
Attachment to Struggle. This is another pattern you’re more likely to experience if your Core Wound is Unlovable. What I mean by “attachment” is, you unconsciously feel better when you’re experiencing struggle, so you unconsciously keep creating it.
This attachment gets created in early childhood, often through experiences that we wouldn’t perceive as negative. For example, imagine a child first learning how to walk. That child works hard to use its legs, lift its own weight, stand upright and eventually move forward. What are the parents doing while the child is working so hard? Mostly likely, clap and cheer.
If that child already feels Unlovable because of the Core Wound that happened in the womb, then receiving praise for their struggle at that moment feels especially good. If that praise-for-struggle pattern repeats often in childhood – and especially if that’s the only time they feel loved – then they develop an attachment to using hard work, struggle, and being busy as ways of earning praise and feeling loved.
Fear of Being Wrong. The last common pattern is also one you’re more likely to have if your Core Wound is Unlovable. (If you’re wondering whether people with the Unlovable Core Wound are more likely to struggle in business, the answer is Yes. Most, but not all of my entrepreneur clients are women with the Unlovable Core Wound.)
Feeling unlovable can lead to a fear of making mistakes, especially if you were subject to harsh criticism as a child for being wrong. Criticism is a form of rejection, which we’ve already addressed as something you might be unconsciously trying to avoid.
In my case, doing something wrong often led to being hit; thankfully, not everyone’s experience was as traumatic as mine. I have found a correlation that entrepreneurs who experienced trauma (especially parental abuse) during childhood struggle the most in their businesses. I’ve also observed that standard coaching methods might not help them, if the coach’s approach closely resembles the way that their abusive parent disciplined. Healing the trauma of abuse is very important and necessary for those entrepreneurs to thrive.
What can you do to release these patterns and make business easy? This is usually where I would offer some DIY solutions because I want to provide value independent of whether you take any next steps with me.
A DIY solution might provide temporary relief, but in the context of this article, I have to point out – with great love, understanding, and wanting the best for you – that trying to fix things yourself without support is one way you’ve been perpetuating your struggle.
If you’re ready to get off the struggle bus for good, the key is to work with someone who has a proven way to help you heal the wounds and attachments we’ve discussed. That’s what I do in Fearless Freedom and Fearless Freedom Platinum. Or if you’ve got someone else in mind, ask that person to help you. Either way, let yourself receive the support you need and deserve.
If you’re really not ready for that leap just yet, start by finding out which of the Core Wounds you have.