Something that needs to be talked about as part of the spiritual journey is how we make decisions and how that process needs to evolve as we evolve.
Why talk about this? Because life is full of decisions, and you want to make the ones that will take you toward your goals, especially as your spiritual journey make you better at claiming and receiving what you desire.
Sometimes my work as a healer includes helping my clients get out of their own way and make a clear decision from their inner knowing about whether one of my programs is right for them.
I can advise, but if the decision comes from me, then the healing won’t work. We’ll have reinforced the exact disempowered patterns you’re trying to move out of.
Let’s start by understanding what those patterns are, specifically how you were conditioned to make decisions back when you were a kid, because those childhood experiences may still influence how you make decisions now.
Depending on how you were parented and how progressive your schools were, maybe you had opportunities to make your own decisions, or maybe you were dictated to every step of the way.
What I’ve observed in myself, my clients, and my peers is that the degree to which decisions were dictated to us in childhood is the degree to which we still look for someone to dictate (or at least validate) decisions for us in adulthood.
The authorities we seek now may be higher Consciousness authorities, but they are often still external authorities.
Tarot cards and intuitives have replaced our parents and teachers as external authorities.
We look for signs from the Universe to tell us if a choice is right more than we tell the Universe we have chosen.
We look for something outside ourselves to tell us the right decisions…
The truth is, with most things there isn’t just one right decision the way that there was just one right answer on a test when you were a kid.
There is whatever you decide – and then your life aligns with that decision.
If, for example, you want to heal your body, there may be multiple healers, techniques, and programs who are capable of supporting your process. By the Law of Attraction, several of them could show up at your doorstep, and you could choose any one of them.
That is a beautiful thing, but it’s also a frightening and confusing thing if your decision-making process still depends on external validation and confirmation.
Let me say all that a different way: If you’re conditioned to wait for someone to tell you that your decisions are right or wrong, then the freedom to choose whatever you want doesn’t feel like freedom – it feels like a threat.
It throws you into a panic…
…and you misinterpret that panic as your inner guidance telling you not to do the thing you’re contemplating…
…because no one has ever explained to you that fear could mean anything other than “don’t do it.”
What fear is actually telling you in that moment is “I’m afraid to make the decision.”
Have you ever noticed that once you make a difficult decision, the fear goes away? That’s because the fear was about the decision itself, not option A or B.
What we need to do is change your approach to decision-making so that rather than exhaustively searching for the one perfect option, you’re evaluating whether the option in front of you will move you toward your goal or not.
The beautiful thing is, your inner being already knows that answer, and we can use that awareness: If the option you’re considering is aligned with your goal, your energy responds to it one way; if it’s not aligned, the response is different.
When you approach decision-making that way, it becomes super easy.
SO easy that I can teach it to you right here, using a decision that you’re trying to make in your life right now. Would you like to do that?
The first step is to get centered in your body.
If you remember only one thing from this, let it be that the best way to make decisions is not with your mind but with your senses.
The more you think about a decision, the more that you invoke old conditioning, the more you will overthink that decision and eventually think yourself out of the decision.
Instead, try this:
(*Only do this visualization right now if it’s safe for you to close your eyes and focus within.)
Get centered by closing your eyes and taking three deep cleansing breaths…
Next, as your breathing returns to a natural pace, let the next breath that you take drop down into your heart, breathing in and out of your heart as all the tension that you’ve been holding in your head neck and shoulders melts down and away. (Do this for 5 seconds.)
Now, let the next breath that you take drop down into your stomach, feeling the rise and fall of your stomach with each breath that you take as all the tension that you’ve been holding in your stomach and your back melts down and away. (Do this for 5 seconds.)
Finally, let the next breath that you take drop as far down your spine as it feels comfortable to go right now, breathing up and down your spine as all the tension you’ve been holding in your lower body melts down and away. (Do this for 5 seconds.)
Now think about the goal you want to achieve with the decision you’re trying to make.
Stay with that thought and keep breathing up and down your spine until you notice your energy start to shift.
You might start to feel like you’re in a slow-moving river that’s flowing forward…
….or maybe you’re a visual person and you see that image of a river or an energy flow in your mind’s eye.
These are examples. What change are you feeling, seeing, hearing, or knowing which tells you that you’ve gotten into the flow of energy that’s moving you toward your goal. This is important, so let it take as long as it takes…
Once that happens, bring to mind the option you’re considering, whatever it is, and place a symbol of it in front of you.
Wait for a few seconds, then notice whether the flow of energy you were experiencing has continued or changed.
If the flow has continued in the same direction – and especially if it’s gotten stronger – then this option is aligned with your goal and will move you toward it.
If the flow stopped or changed direction as if being repelled by a magnet, then this option will not move you toward your goal.
That’s it. It’s that simple. Your inner being knows if that option supports your goal, and it has told you.
If you need to, go back and repeat the process – for instance, if it was hard for you to do it for real while I was teaching you the steps for the first. Always start with the three centering breaths and do the whole thing.
Once you’ve gotten this far, check in with yourself: How does it feel to have a clear knowing of whether the option will work for you?
Do you feel empowered to get started instead of anxious that you’ll make the wrong decision?
If your inner being told you the option was NOT aligned, how does that feel?
I would expect that either way, your mind feels a lot clearer now.
Now that you know the option is aligned with your goal, assuming that’s the answer you got, there may still be other questions to answer like, “When is the best time to do this?”
You can answer these questions in practical ways, but you can also ask them to your inner being in the same way, by getting back into the flow and putting possible answers in front of you, such as different start dates like today or next week.
If you do have follow-up questions to figure out, notice how the experience is much more clear-minded when the questions of “Should I do this? Will it work?” have already been answered.
Now that you’ve tried this, I’d love for you to share with me in the comments what decision you used it for and what the experience was like.